High school never ends. Not really. Not in my head, at least.
I have an addiction to watching Beauty Gurus on YouTube. Even as I type this, I have RachhLoves in the background complaining that the Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector in Blushed Copper is too dark for her. Dear God, is that thing beautiful. Adding to Sephora cart. NO! Stop. Control. Pay rent.
In practicality, Gurus can be very useful. Watching someone put on a foundation from start to finish is much more useful than rushing to smear the back of your hand with swatches in the dimly lit corners of a store while a salesperson tries to upsell you three other products.
In actuality, all they have done is remind me that, even at 28 years old, married, with babies, I am not one of the cool kids.
Some background. Scene opens on High School Jenny, with her chub, glasses, frizzy hair that is sorely lacking the wisdom of how to use gel, and encyclopedic knowledge of Broadway musical lyrics. She has just come home from seeing Lord of the Rings: Return of the King for the third time in two days because she is secretly married to Orlando Bloom and Viggo Mortensen. Simultaneously.
18 year old Jenny is not a cool kid.
Hell, 28 year old Jenny is not a cool kid. She just realizes that it ain’t all that bad.
But while watching these beautiful girls with their straight blonde hair and perfectly winged eyeliner, I find myself thinking, “I should buy that thing, like she did, cause then I’ll be like her, and…” And what? She’ll like me?
Literal thoughts lifted from my head:
I decided I wanted a Marc Jacobs eye shadow palette because they are sleek and sexy and the shadows are buttery and wonderful and screw eating dinner, I need to lose weight anyway.
The one that caught my eye, BY FAR, was The Dreamer. It’s peach and gold and unique and beautiful, but neutral enough that I’d actually, ya know, use it.
Yoink! Lolita (a very, very beautiful palette of all neutrals) was in my grasp, so that my subconscious would be satisfied that these two YouTubers, who have zero idea who I am and couldn’t care less whether I wore rose gold or iridescent peach on my lids, would like me just that little bit more.
Luckily, I came to my senses and got the palette I had originally wanted, but I still had that lingering feeling of “But they have the other one. It must be better.” (Update: I found Lolita on Ebay for half price. Essiebutton, you have no choice but to be my friend, now!)
I guess what I’m saying is old habits die hard, and High School Jenny has to stop being in charge of what make up I buy.
Does this happen to anyone else? What have you been convinced into buying just because a Guru loved it?